cyn___cyn's Xanga

Monday, January 24, 2005

Mon, 24 Jan 2005 13:36:54 GMT

this xanga is

officially...

CLOSED~

...no more xanga for me... PERIOD.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Wed, 19 Jan 2005 00:26:41 GMT

I think people are avoiding me... *sigh* I know I am scary... thats what happens due to stress... Stress = insane... the stress recently is just getting to me... I'm doing too many stupid things coz of stress... no I'm not doing drugs or smoking... but I'm making myself bleed... The sight of my blood flowing makes me feel less stressed... I don't know why... maybe coz it makes me think I'll die... so I don't feel stressed anymore... I feel as if there is no one to turn to... I don't know... people tell me to stop but... I can't help it... it's become a bad habit that I can't break... TT_TT I need to stop stressing... I need some anti-stress pills before I end up dead or in a mental hospital... TT_TT Stress is one of my worst enemies... next to depression... I can help it... TT_TT

The english exam today... *sighz* I think I failed.... because I KNOW I didn't do well... TT_TT The essay I wrote was so lame and full of BS~ The essay had to be 6-8 pages.. dammit... how am I suppose to make it that long with out BSing? >__<;; It's not like it's an easy essay... I wish it was... out of 30 and 15% of my mark... last time I did an essay I BARELY PASSED~ TT_TT I'm so screwed.... TT_TT

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Tue, 18 Jan 2005 00:27:25 GMT

I am a failure... TT_TT I am doomed coz of exams... TT_TT

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 03:30:07 GMT

muahaha~ done the layout fully... finally... =O anyways... soon i will not be online anymore... yep~ banning myself... >__< coz of school~ sdkflsfksd!

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 03:51:17 GMT

New layout for a NEW YEAR~~ ^___^ Wow~ 2005 already? x_X;;

HAPPY NEW YEAR~

anyways... info on the layout...
theme: To Heart ( Jap drama with Dohmoto Tsuyoshi and Fukada Kyoko)
music: To Heart by Kinki Kids
colours: blue and pink

I really liked the drama To Heart... It's kinda dumb in a way... but... it's sadly happy... it's got its ups and downs... like real life love.... X_X;;

Translation for To Heart:

want to tell these feelings to you
Even if I have to use ordinary words
I want to hear your voice just a little longer
On this starry night

Destinies connected by cellular phone
In the corner of this vast space
No matter how far apart we are
I should be able to reach you, my heart

You're here, that alone
Will make me strong enough to break it down
Wagering all my pain on it
I believe that my heart will reach you

I want to tell this wish to you
Even if I have to use words you're tired of hearing
On this uncertain night
When it seems like you're going far, far away

So that we wouldn't get lost in the crowd
I gently brushed your fingers
Though I feel your warmth
My heart isn't reaching you

We made a promise there, didn't we
That I'd protect you so that you'd want to cry
Wagering all my pain on it
I believe that my heart will reach you

They say that the sun must be sacrificed
So that the night can become night
Nothing lasts forever
Even then, the stars shine above us

You're here, that alone
Will make me strong enough to break it down
Wagering all my pain on it
I believe that my heart will reach you

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Tue, 28 Dec 2004 05:38:30 GMT

page under construction~ >_<

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Sat, 25 Dec 2004 21:43:38 GMT

Merry Christmas!!

*sigh*

...so doomed... -__-^ anywayssss~ SAD~ TT_TT

....one year ago today... i became a failure... i plan to be anti-social for awhile... I'm just gonna forget... forget everything... coz it sucks...

ate loads of chocolate today... i think i gained more weight... i've never lost the 20 pounds i gained a year ago because of depression.... >__<

Gahhh~ nose is bleeding again... TT_TT twice today... >__< 3 times in the last 3 days... TT_TT

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 04:01:13 GMT

ALL I CAN SAY IS I AM SO DEAD~

........not literally but... u know what I mean~

>________<;;

...ppl like to ignore me too~ T_T meanies~ *sigh* getting closer to a year... a year from that day... >_< that day that will remain in my heart... >_< that day that I hate... T_T WHY CAN'T I FORGET IT!?!?!?

......not in xmas mood anymore.... as that day draws nearer... >_< it's been a hard year... very tiring... very depressing... I use to love snow and xmas... but he took that all away... like the grinch... >_< I feel hopelessly stupid again....

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 01:24:37 GMT

My head is killing me... I don't know whats wrong with me.. I have bronchitis... My head hurts ALOT everyday... my stomach hurts alot... when i eat it feels better... >_< i'm always hungry these few weeks... T_T

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Sun, 19 Dec 2004 18:33:40 GMT

New songs~~

Jay Chou - Garden Festival

Creamy - Jingle Bell Rock

Olivia Olson - All I Want For Christmas Is You

Jay Chou - You Can Hear It

Pachelbel - Canon in D

coz ppl killed my bandwidth... needed to change songs...